Why the Platform I’m Coding Will Probably Drive You Crazy

Be honest — how do you feel when someone tests your code?

 

If you’re anything like me, it probably ranks right up there with Monday mornings or getting a root canal. In fact, there are 5 things that drive me absolutely crazy in an average working week:

 

#1. When It All Comes Crashing Down

 

You’ve pushed your code to the main repository and you feel like the greatest developer since Dennis Ritchie. You’ve thoroughly checked your code (well, you ran over it at least twice while eating your morning cheerios) and you’re sure nothing can go wrong. In a state of euphoria, you celebrate with your playstation and a cup of coffee. You’re on top of the world... until your email beeps. And beeps again. And again. And again.

 

QA didn’t just find one bug. No. It seems that almost every item doesn’t work. You say a silent goodbye to your playstation. You’re not going to be seeing it again in a while…

 

#2. When the Refresh Button Doesn’t Do Its Job

 

You’ve just written a new feature and it takes slightly longer to load than you hoped. No problem — that’s what the refresh button is for! When you press refresh, it will undoubtedly load quicker. But it doesn’t. In fact it takes longer. Your fingers become a blur as you frantically click the refresh button over and over again. But instead of getting better, more performance issues pop up.

 

Meanwhile QA is watching silently, patiently waiting for you to admit defeat.

 

TIP: Surrender is not an option. So, whenever you find yourself in this situation, feel free to utilize one of these undisputable explanations: 

 

  1. That’s weird..it’s never done that before

  2. Someone must have changed my code

  3. You must have the wrong version

  4. It must be a hardware problem

  5. It works on my machine

 

 

#3. When QA Turns Testing Into a SuperHero Quest

 

Have you ever noticed how when QA starts checking your work, he or she suddenly turns into the Flash of website navigation? Flash might be the fastest runner in the superhero world but no-one can click faster than QA. The clicking frenzy turns your website into a psychedelic blur in front of your eyes. No-one uses your website like this — so how is this test relevant?!

 

And if QA isn’t speed clicking around your site, it's busy finding the weirdest things to test. The determination to find an error in the console knows no bounds.

 

#4. When Prehistoric Devices Get Tested

 

Ok, we all know the importance of making your site responsive. It should look great on desktops, smartphones, and tablets alike. But do we really need to make sure that my site looks great on the circa 2000 Nokia 3310 that even my grand mother would blush to pull out in front of her bingo buddies? I think that the 0.0001% of the population using these devices will live with my tiny bugs (ahem: did I say bugs? I meant features…)

 

#5. When You Make Eye Contact at the Wrong Time

 

You’ve finished one kick a$$ feature and you’re already on to the next. Your headphones are on. You’re coding. You’re focused. You’re in “The Zone”. But then you look up. Big mistake. QA is looking right at you. You have approximately 3 seconds until you hear those fateful words: “Can you come here a minute?”

 

Never make eye contact. Your last feature is never really over. 

 

Developing and Testing at the Same Time.

 

So here’s the kicker, I’m now a developer for a performance testing platform. This platform allows you to test websites and apps under extreme load — and it can be used at every point of the software delivery process. As far as checks go, it’s the mothership of QA. An automated, perpetually testing mothership. As more of us move towards Continuous Development processes and the DevOps culture, this should be embraced. As forward thinking developers in the year 2016, we know that testing needs to be an integral part of the software development process - no longer relegated to our friends in QA.

 

But as a developer who hates being tested, all I can say is “I’m sorry!”

 

So to all my fellow developers out there — I apologize if my product drives you crazy! But remember... you can find a solution to every problem! :)

 

 

Obviously (most!) of this article was not meant to be taken too seriously — I recognize the value of testing and I truly love my job and my friends in QA. :) But I would love to hear what drives you most crazy as a developer. Do you relate to these pet hates or are you embracing the new culture of testing your own code? Please share with us in the comments box below.